I recently went to a sound healing. It wasn’t my first one, but I understood something I didn’t before…there aren’t as many bad sounds as I thought. You see, I’m sound ‘sensitive’. It’s a real thing…Hyperacusis, to be exact. There are different triggers and different ways of desensitizing yourself to the sounds that make you jump, get irritable and generally, freak the f#€k out. For me I hear and absorb everything so it becomes a cacophony of sound…if someone is watching a video with sound on their device and the TV is on…I want to through myself off a cliff. Creatives are prone to it, allegedly, along with propensity for mental disorders. I guess this is because we see the world very differently than the non’s…creatives, I mean.
When you allow sound to actually heal the wound that it created, there is a new understanding…of what is going on inside of us. As a group we went through a ritual to get ready for the healing…then we took our pillows and blankets, and with all of our heads pointing toward the center the sound began. We were told that there might be sounds, albeit beautiful, you will find irritating, you may begin to fidget, have anxiety…just breathe and sit with this feeling and allow a yourself a moment to know you just released something. I may have been holding onto some issue forever…it’s just a sound, I will not break into a million pieces. The sound helps us to be inside ourselves…you are the sound. Caddy Shack fans will remember the line, “Be the ball, Danny…”. Be the sound…
At this healing, there were several singing bowls, a tuning fork, something that sounded like a huge rain stick. There was a drum and one that sounded like gigantic bee wings flying…and some others I just couldn’t place…Ok, I have to go back for a sec, I didn’t tell you a big piece of this story. The first half of this sound bath was all about setting intentions, your goals for the new moon. The rebirth of the moon’s cycle…a life cycle most of us don’t realize is playing out monthly, in a sky near you…birth to death every month…there are actually 13 full moons a year. Over and over…and we don’t see it as such. Each sound that came into my body felt like a new adventure or really, each had a its purpose. They are short bouts singing, of different sounds one after another…I felt so uncomfortable and panicked during one, relaxed in another…I had to get a drink of water during another…I had a different variation of my intention shown to me…I was uncomfortable a lot during this one…but I also have so much to shed coming into my own…living a creative and fulfilling life.
We can learn so much when we listen…aware of what is happening right in front of us. It’s so cliche’ to say, live in the present. But, it’s all there is. It is why most are so unhappy. How can we pin down future happiness? Once we get to this future happiness, there will a be another reason to be unhappy and wait once again to be happy.
So, back to sound…I can’t think of a better way to be present in the now…sound is now, it is finite. It doesn’t last forever. It teaches us to not fear where we are right now. To take discomfort as a sign of our growth. That if you are exposed to the dark shadows that are part of you, they can be allowed to dissapate…just like sound. What we won’t face about ourselves keeps us in the dark and from happiness. It reminds us of the impermanence of it all. That we can change anytime we want. We have all it takes inside us.
You might be wondering if my Hyperacusis is cured because of this revelation…I just told my husband to turn down the TV…I couldn’t hear myself think…and the commercials are like nails on a chalkboard…I may never get over certain sounds but I have a new understanding of the significance of sound in my life. It’s the universes way of stopping me in my tracks and to be present in the now.