Well I’ve gone and done it…I should say overdone it.
I’m a rather driven person. I feel like I need to be doing something even if I’m watching tv. I have been warned recently, by more than one friend, that I need to take time out to relax, be patient, allow the seeds planted to grow and trust the process of my life.
I have been following a M-F work week with weekends off. This has been working well…no studio time two days a week. My husband and I can do weekend projects, see friends, cook and relax. Then a friend wanted to start a mosaic night once a week. I had a pile of cement stepping stones behind the garage and have been threatening to mosaic them for use in our yard. So mosaic night was born. It was something different than the work I was doing and best of all…I was not attached to the outcome. I just love it…That’s relaxing, right?!
One night a week turned into weekends. I wasn’t making them fast enough, of course…So not only did I work with my neck, head and shoulder in an awkward position M-F 9-4 I was also working in this position one night during the week and on weekends. This turned out to be a bad bad idea. I have a micro tear in my supra spinatus (a rear rotator cuff ligament) and guess what?! Yep, I’m forced into rest. How did it get out of contol again? How was I not paying attention to how close I was to exhaustion? Argh.
Ok, so part of rest and relaxation is to not pummel yourself emotionally for being in this position of icing 20 mins on 20 off, not bending the head forward, forcing my neck to help the shoulder hang on for dear life…add the extreme violence and stress of this last week in our country’s history…it’s ok, you just got a little too worked up, constantly doing so no room for thinking.
I’m sitting here not moving much except doing laundry because of course I have to hurry up and get better to go out of town in two days…so it’s down for the count. I feel like I have failed in some way, but that is just me being way too hard on myself. It’s like, I never get sick and I’m not good at this.
So, I had a talk with myself this morning. I am not a super human. It is ok to rest. Even though I thought I was…reflection on the last three months would be good. Meditation and visualization is allowed if it doesn’t turn into stress. I know, how does that turn into stress?! Old habits die hard but I’m relaxing, not watching any news…maybe just sitting in my recliner and napping. Yes, nothing sounds good all of a sudden. The universe had to save me from myself. Reminding me to trust the process using this time to think on a fresh vision for the future plan of self care.
Maybe you see yourself in these words. Sit for a minute and see where you might need to slow down. It’s better if try to see this in yourself. Don’t leave it for the universe to slap you into submission, she’s a bitch!