I am in control of my destiny. I can make anything happen. Since I have chosen to be a fine art painter, I am my own boss, in charge of marketing and exactly where I want to go with it. Although I know I have talent, it can create confusion and is very daunting some days…there are no end to the possibilities.
If you would ask me if I was afraid, I would say no. But lately, as I stated last week, I’m in an initiation period. Something happened now I’m in purgatory until the next thing…and it’s uncomfortable. I have made a decision on what to do next…but I’m dragging my feet a bit. The reason for my dragging feet was a mystery to me. Until I read this one short sentence:
“What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?”
Talk about a buzz kill…my heart sank…am I afraid? I don’t feel afraid, but the little me inside that always tries to bring me down, has punched me in the neck. Shit, thanks a lot…what would I do if I could do anything? I thought I was doing that thing in the thing…aaaargh! Now I have to investigate. What would I do if I wasn’t afraid…afraid of what? Being laughed at? No…afraid of rejection? No…but something is nagging at me. That question just stung like a mother!
I will tell you that I am on a campaign to get gallery representation. If you ask me, is that your goal to be in galleries? I’m not going to lie, no, it’s not necessarily my Mecca. Am I happy to do it? Yes, actually it will be challenging and I am not against being in galleries at all. Now I’m back to, what would you really do if you weren’t afraid?
Ive had this idea percolating for awhile. To find vacant spaces and do a pop up gallery for one night only, monthly maybe, and pick different locations, cities etc…you wouldn’t know where I was going to be next. But really? I don’t even know where to start and you need capital to lease space, permits, marketing materials, etc. So I decided I wasn’t ready to dive into that kettle of fish yet.
Is that what I would do if I weren’t afraid? Am I suppose to do the thing that I’m most afraid of?
That thing that sounds the least doable and makes me squirm…but when I really think about this pop up gallery, it feels exciting. Lots of yummy details involved in the where what and how of it all. It has great potential for me if only because I’m my own boss. It’s more than that, though. You even know that and you don’t know my plan. Because it is a Phaedra idea. The possibilities are endless to make it uniquely mine and the idea of giving people some mystery and making it interesting for myself as well Is what dreams are made of.
When was the last time anyone did anything imaginative, the kind of thing that makes you think, wow, that’s really cool and different, I would check that out? I’m still trying to think…and even though there is an artwalk in every city, every month, it’s kind of the same old thing. I think artists do it this way because what else is there? It’s like we’re all afraid. Afraid that no one will buy anything or like what we’re doing so we band together, circle the wagons and save us from the kind of embarrassment that comes with being solo, naked to the world and then having only your mom and husband show up. If you’re in a group, there is no fear of that. The people are there and the whole thing is marketed for you and all the other artists.
I’m in the driver’s seat. I only have to know I can do something then do it. So what’s the hold up?! I actually think I worked out my problem right here on this page…it’s worth a look that’s for sure.
Ok then…what would YOU do if you weren’t afraid? Write that sentence on a sticky note where you can see it multiple times a day. I bet there a lot of great ideas out there and many are just afraid it won’t work…or it’s too much work. Everything is a lot of work, to be seen for who we really are can’t be scary. It’s got to have a feeling of freedom. You get to be yourself and don’t have to pretend anymore. Get out there and do whatever it is because we aren’t guaranteed tomorrow. Don’t wait until it’s too late. You can be in the driver’s seat of your life.