I have been taking time to reflect on things that have happened. I don’t like to spend too much time on the past, but sometimes it is needed. Like after the completion of a large project, the finish of a job…anything that has, well, ended. Because after an ending there is a new beginning. Scary. Before the new beginning there’s a let down. There is a gap between the high of an ending and a low when beginning anew. I heard a friend call this uncomfortable spot, the initiation.
I am going through one right now. For some months all I could think about was getting ready for a gallery show with another artist. All the little details, social media, marketing, food and music, what art I would hang…the show closed on a Sunday and the next day, I was in the hospital with my husband for a scheduled full knee replacement. I hit the ground running, I didn’t have time to process. It felt great to be able to be there for him…but what about me? I had put everything on hold and was living in a personal and professional limbo of sorts. Sometimes that’s a relief, not having to think about what’s next.
As I began to unravel the past project, I found many wonderful things that said, I was going in the right direction. People got what I was doing, what I was about and it came through in the paintings…that was amazing, Such a high. What do I do next…uh oh, the Initiation. The struggle between what has ended and what comes next. These moments in time are what define us. There is fear of the unknown. How well do we weather the inevitable changes in our lives? It doesn’t matter what we do for a living, how much money we have…how well we deal with change will tell us a lot about what we need to work on. So, what comes next is up to me. I can allow this pause to paralyze or I can look at this as necessary. We must have this time. Without it, we can’t move forward to face the next challenge with a little more wisdom under our belts.
Even though my last project was a success, it also had many things that didn’t go so well. I learned what not to do moving forward, what actually flat out failed. Very pertinent information. After much reflection, I have a definite direction moving forward. It took awhile to know and I had to be patient with myself. This is not a race, we all take however long we take. Can’t force that shit. No matter how we try. It also helps to have access to a human oracle or two.
It feels good to have a new dragon to slay. The idea of fighting the same one forever is unthinkable and not an option. So, don’t let the down time scare you. This is by design, that fact that the universe places rest right where and when you need it. You must be paying attention otherwise you might look at these gifts as failure or that something must be wrong because you can’t go ninety to nothin’ forever. Relax, because everything is going to work out. You just have to let it.
Go forth and slay it today!