Personally, I feel like 2016 was the most stressful year I can remember. In a long while, anyway. There were many reasons for wanting to spend my days self medicating and basically checking out.
To be fair, 2016 was also a very awesome year for me as well. For personal as well as professional reasons. Life is always that way. I think that’s how the universe reminds us no matter what’s going on around us, we have our own mission in this life and that’s really all there is.
A calm feeling has come over me as of late. I feel more love in my heart than ever. I realize that I have a choice. I can be my unique self and help the world the only way I know how. To create art that no one has ever created and reach out with my heart.
I can’t waste time telling others how I feel politically, ranting about how it’s good or not good…whatever…I’m talking about not putting that energy out into the world, not in any arena outside of you, really. It’s negative and counter productive to everything we really want out of life. To be practical or logical about what you desire, doesn’t deal with the kinds of things I’m talking about.
They say that our hearts speak to us in pictures. There is no verbal language to describe what the heart sees, what it wants. In times of stress, it is my heart that tells me what’s the right thing. It never lies and has no ego. It is the purest part of me. I can think about what I should do, making practical tactical moves toward some sort of concrete solution. But the heart doesn’t play that game. It jumps and skips and ends up in your throat when anything is going down. Every emotion is carried in the pump that gives us life and acts as our soul.
Maybe you don’t agree. I know what I know. In this very moment that your reading this, stop, forget what everyone else wants you to do. What do you want to do?…most of you thought of some grand dream and then you swatted it down. Thinking it wasn’t possible because, really, how does one begin?
I have been slowly shifting things over the past six years. I want a more creative and soulful life through my art. Or whatever I decide to do in my life…I will always be living in the space I’m creating for myself. It doesn’t have to be drastic. I am still with the same husband…we have grown into this space together even though I know he doesn’t understand half of it.
I guess I’m trying to say, when I was unhappy I listened to my heart. My brain can’t help. Since your soul doesn’t know how to do things in a step by step bullet point kind of way, there were practical decisions to be made. But my heart would try to intervene and I did have to give it a look. There is balance to everything!!!! I think I have said that the last two blog posts. Balance…
Joe and I used to have a Greyhound, Argus the best dog ever, and fostered five or six dogs some years ago. This weekend we are getting a foster dog fresh off the track. I call them waifs in the beginning, so thin and scared. They have never seen anything outside of the puppy farm, the track, their crate and where they pee. When they first come to a home you have to put sticky notes on sliding glass doors, some won’t walk on tile because they don’t know what it is, they look behind the TV to see what is making that noise…and many other things that are really cute and hilarious.
It is pure love to take the time to reach out to those in need. I haven’t wanted to because I have been “busy” which was code for “checked out”. I didn’t see it that way at the time. I didn’t know that for me to become happy and successful, I needed to share my heart with community and everything in it.
I hope my posts get you thinking. That’s what I love to open a dialog…I’m growing on these pages…learning to express myself through writing. But not everything is write-able. There are no words for some things and that’s when painting or any other creative endeavor takes the wheel. Balance.
Do something soulful today!